Day 20

I'm in my 20^th day of my 50 weird day thing [nothing I can talk about it] and I can see some weird changes. I have nothing more left to write. I don't know why it is like that but only when my thoughts won't come out anymore perhaps I'll lose myself completely. I'm thinking about what I have done so far in life that has a thought of strangeness. Of course we all do some things crazy sometimes but only some can actually keep a record of all those things and only some want to talk about them, I have always been the different kind, someone lost in his own self most of his life.

I always had the potential in me to be surprised by myself. At 13 I worked for movies once, at 14 I was a pro-guitarist, at 15 I was doing much of the singing, at age 16 I was painting and all these years I been writing.

I have a collection of love songs I have written in my 18 years of age, some collection that I call FIREFLIES. I have hidden them somewhere safe and they might never see the light.

As a kid, at one point I knew that I'll write my best at age 18, perhaps the words had so much fire in them that I burned them and they were all turned into ashes.

I almost wrote a novel twice and lost it both times by situations.

I have almost quit on everything once, almost everything I ever did, but I know the joy of 'how it feels to start again'.

I'm not normal but I'm not abnormal either. Everyone who has ever known me, I have made them think that I'm weird, not that I'm but yes, actually I'm weird. I can cook, perhaps I can actually cook in a way so that I can make you question my techniques and yes, you wouldn't resist asking my techniques.

I paint in seven layers, some techniques that were followed by renaissance artist and grand masters. I learned to recapture the mastery of art by following my mind. At one point I actually had dreams where I use to paint and in the morning I would try that same technique just to make sure it wasn't a weird dream. I once painted with ash. I know, this is little weird but I'm not a member of 'Priory of Sion' and that I know.

I'm a very good negotiator.

I have never been ruled by rules and regulations, damn right I got my own laws.

There is lot about me but what I'm trying to say is- I have already changed and all that I wrote about me is history now.

I'm already a new me and all this in me won't be in me from now on. I know it locks inside a person and mind always has the memory of it stored somewhere, my mind just wiped it completely.

Day 20 begins.