I can feel my head bouncing against the turmoil's of past, present and future. I was thinking about the past and present mostly but then future struck me like lightening and it left me devastated and thoughtless. I had a belief and little hope for something that could happen but 'could' has the strength of 'if' and 'if is part of the word 'life', it speaks for itself.
People spend their whole life building up and making changes for their future but just a moment is always enough to change their present leaving no scope for future.
I was building up; I was provided strength by something that made me believe in it so much that I had given myself away entirely. I had completely withdrawn from my beliefs and rules. I had grown a lost hope, something I knew I would never gain back and then I had grown the roots of my fallen tree of trust. It all felt good but then lightening struck me, it was so sudden that I couldn't even feel a thing. Now I'm so numb that my body isn't at the will of my mind. My mind cannot stress more. I'm waiting for renewal, I'm waiting for my energy, and I'm waiting for my strength. It's not that I'm weak but it's just that I'm tired. It's like the truth that says that weakness is lazy but strength is tiring. There's a fragile moment of truth in my moment and that is, I'm tired of being strong for no reason.
I gave my heart without a price second time. I gave my heart and got a lifeline to work with. I gave away everything and became nobody. I gave it all away just to get nothing back. It has to be tiring and I'm very tired. I'm very confused and I had never been more strained.
Day 19 begins and I'm completely numb.
Posts
