LOVE

I have learned, I came alone and I have to go alone.. I have learned, People are with you only when they need you , not otherwise.. I have learned, Extra care of anyone by you will ultimately bring a blame on you, not appreciation.. I have learned , A simple lie by your close one can break you more than anything.. Ultimately.. I have learned, Love yourself & Love people but only if you can do it without expecting anything from them..and i have learned only love is a feeling which can create wonders as it is written in bible....

Love is patient, love is kind.
Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud.
Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not become angry easily.
Love does not remember wrongs done against it.
Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails
But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE.

Prayer

"Abba, entrust my spirit in your refuge

Guide it to the path of righteousness

Abba, Show the light brighter than created

Depart darkness to exile

Abram, your wisdom I lead

Your words I follow, Abimelech

Abba, in your clutches my fingers

Along thy steps I mark mine

Under your shadow I crawl

Bless me thy humbleness

So I treat all with dignity

And from the suffering of others I shall learn

Suffer evil with courage to suffer again

Crumble with hope to rise again

Abba, teach me death so I learn life

Teach me pain so I learn to heal

Teach me hate so I spread love

Abba, let sins be forgiven under thy kingdom

May anger inhales peace under your guidance

Revenge may not exist, Abba, in your mercy

Dominus, spread love like rain

To love we are created, lord

In love we are lost for love is god

Love not to be compared for thy love is greatest

And love of all shall be greater to live forever

And love among all be restored when lost

Along hope, faith and courage under a shadow to protect it

Abba, love that exceeds your love shall be love of god

The creator of all, the fire, the dust

Bless thy created with love

From the light to darkness

Spread as air and water

Give strength to hold against all odds

Conquer devils and let them be conquered by angels

Abba, in one we believe, only one we follow

Let another not deceive us,

Abba, make our hearts stronger than they are

And forever we keep our love

Forever we keep our faith

Forever and ever more

Amen"

                                  

                                    -Fireflies 2010

what a wonderful world

colors of butterflies shine through the sun..
underwater dolphins n baby crabs having fun..
Dancing peacock wondering how beautiful its feathers are..
blue water n green grass talking with the stars..
fragrance of flowers spreading so far..
we Thank God for this world to live,
be a Human live and forgive.. :) :)

Solace

Strings strung music and to its brain I reached

Today to my belief I preached

I retouched the lies I once leached

I reopened the wounds I once sealed

It rained purple yet again but I wonder how I once healed

But if you have learned from this then I’ll be free, finally!

                                                                 -Fireflies

9 Oct, 2010

It has to be a question, what if you can actually challenge and give the best of you....when you can provide enough to replace everything. You know one of those times when you provide, explain, take away something cause it shouldn't be there and you make it a law, and when you break the law, you finally hear about that thing you provided which was never good enough, it’s never enough. You replace something and get replaced by a word.

In another color of situation the truth can be told with a simple but yet so sober wisdom less lie. Everything in this world has a purpose; you cannot replace someone and be someone else. Everyone has a place. No matter how hard you try and how much you’ll give away, good or bad be the result, let god judge and know this, you can’t replace a position, you cannot be a husband and a friend, for those who would live up to this are fools to make themselves committed to obsession thinking that they cannot give away and get their love shared by mixed feelings. They want to have the best and all of it.

Falling in love is perpetual and heart break is mandatory, for many it’s just the rush after the thrill has gone. They call it pain, its heart reckoning but it always keeps that thing they call ‘that feeling’ keep on going on and on and on, no matter how long that takes. You know the road is ahead and that’s exactly where you’re going…….forward!

8, 9 and 10

Behind the beauty of life, there is this ugly truth and then there are lies, truth that we learn to keep naked and lies that we learn to cover and sometimes the opposite. As everyday passes we have a moment that flows to the last flashy combination of our life when these moments actually flash around you and among them there are the better ones that are most vivid. If I count mine, I would remember when I first got high, my first time I was asked out by a girl and then my first kiss which was almost perfect, first time I puked on my birthday party, when I turned 21 all alone, august 19^th or October the 20^th, the first time it rained as I can remember or matter of fact the last time it rained, when I first played guitar for someone and among them many that can’t be defined or compared.

We are born naked and I believe that whatever we do is nude. Sooner or later the very blanket that we are under becomes our coffin and life is a dusted spirit in a blink of an eye, resentment is only a reason and anger supports it or better than anger there is hate that overpowers it. You can always hear the greatest that ever lived talk about peace and its power but there are times when desperation takes over everything. There is a limit and then there are consequences. I often feel that I wanna write a book about one of my close friends and I often feel as if he is telling me everything for one reason or if I’m asking it for another. I feel his life is worth talking about but the same can be said for every story. I’m driven by reasons and not outcomes.

You let go something and something else comes to you, I tell you that I have understood in my life so far that the things that are the hardest to let go are always taken away from you, you never let them go but you are always deceived. But always think it thru before doing the worse, before making that one worst decision of your life that would indeed change it all.

I know myself enough to say that I have understood parts of me that are sane and some that are indeed insane but yes there is still a long road to go and a lot to know and if I do it all over again, I would only choose this life.

Sunday, July 18th 2010

Some say love is nature's way of playing with us so that we can create some more screaming babies who don't know about the heartache there is to come, the heartbreak they can't imagine, the pain that rips their heart out, I feel otherwise.

Some say that the Greek gods were bored, so they invented us, but they were still bored, so they invented love. Then they weren't bored any longer, so they decided to try love for themselves. And finally they invented laughter, so they could stand it. But then we invented hate.

Some say that god despises us but if he did he wouldn't have made our hearts so brave. Some say there is no god,


 
I think otherwise.

254

254 days I was institutionalized.

I had 21 years of experience and my only question, the only thing I use to ask myself as a little kid was 'what is life?', it sure sounds lame and childish but it's not how one can let down something and move on. A crazy weird child and his memories and that is what made him different with nothing good but I have never complained. I'm a curious case. Sometimes it's hard to bear a surprise when sometimes people say surprise and then they wait for my reaction while my only surprise is the word 'surprise'. The funny thing is that there is no book that teaches you about it. You can learn or you can forget.

Maybe I know deep down in my soul somewhere that love never existed but it was until now. I have finally found, learned, understood and now I believe. This is life and its how we know it, at least its how I have learned. Even god cried when heaven's rained and then he swore he would never do something like that again. Even god has a heart. We all have a heart, we just gota learn how to use it.

Thank you Dominus for this life and all my answers that you never answered but made me feel.


 

 

AB +

"today i will start blogging" is what i have been telling my self months ago, however with all that was going on, college et al & then with the final exams approaching, i never really got down to it. And now that the intellectual torture (exams) have ended, being blissfully unemployed (i use the term blissfuly bcos after a long gap i have finally got a BREAK), a tourist in my own house (& im loving it), it struck me once again. So here i am, writting my first blog. TODAY!!

On this little on going holiday that i am on, i spend most of my time doing, well, NOTHING and truth be told i dont even feel guilty about it. Other than the regular, i dont do anything extraordinary or what is expected of me (enrolling for short courses to improve my skill, for skill i believe, will improve on the job).

Now while i enjoy meeting up with friends and each time look forward to the next meeting, I have realised a very common, growing concern. And though it may not sound like 'concern' to some (assuming they consider it a view point/approach), the ability to stay or be positive is not common an ability but something for which training sessions have to be conducted at the office place or speakers delivering lengthy presentations to get the flock inot believing that POSITIVITY is a POSITIVE ATTRIBUTE which can ultimately help you achieve POSITIVE RESULTS.

"POSITIVITY" i guess is a state of mind where you analyse everything like a rational human being and after doing so, inspite of knowing the odds and evens, you choose to go with the evens. For eg. a glass half filled with water can either be looked at as half full or half empty, the choice is yours. Those who choose half full are probably more positive in their approach rather than those who choose half empty.

The benefits of being positive are not uncommon and are emphasised on a regular basis, but even then, sometimes even the most positive person may not be so positive afterall (considering that we are all human beings at the end of the day-sometimes, just sometimes that positive feeling lets us down.) But we should always bear in mind that what gets us down should be reason enough for us to rise up over it.

According to me, positivity is not being unrealistic. It is accepting what comes your way and always knowing that there is a silver lining behind every cloud, more so in the occurance of a tragedy.

Belief in oneself is what I consider to be the first step towards being a positive person, as believing in one's self is learning to love one's self with all the flaws. If you find it hard it hard to love and respect yourself, it will be harder to love and respect another. When ou believe you can - YOU CAN, simply putting it, if you believe you can win the war that's half the battle won or the placebo effect where you believe the sugar pill (made to look like medicine) will cure you, it actually does. So basically it all starts in the head, when you belive that things can happen, when your capable of seeing the good in others, when you are able to bring yourself and others to belive in the right, that's when things will go your way (never forgetting that there will always be problems enroute your destination)-is what I define "Being Positive" as.

Positivity also runs in our blood or else why would we have blood groups such as A+, B+, AB+ or O+? Yes, yes, we also have their negatives but again remember, it is all in the head - if you think so, then so shall it be !! Ans since positivity runs in my blood, I make sure to tell everyone " A, B+ (positive) ok.."

Music... Listen, Learn, Love

Chaos By Mutemath

Complication's my claim to fame
And I can’t believe there’s another
Constantly just another
I can’t avoid what I can’t control
And I’m losing ground
Still I can’t stand down
And I know, yeah I know, yeah

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around's breaking down my chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around's breaking down my chaos

It’s hard to trust anyone again
After all the let downs I’ve been through
Haunted by what I’ve been through
Air still trapped while I still can't breathe
And I’m screaming out
Give me hope somehow
And I know, yeah I know, yeah

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around's breaking down my chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around's breaking down my chaos

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around's breaking down my chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around's breaking down my chaos

Chaos, chaos
I know you stay true, yeah
I know you stay, yeah, yeah, yeah

I know you stay true, everything around's breaking down
I know you stay true, everything around's breaking down

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around's breaking down my chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around's breaking down my chaos

I know you stay true when my world is false
Everything around's breaking down my chaos
I always see you when my sight is lost
Everything around's breaking down my chaos

Even After I Die

A question mark's on a question mark
And insecurities connect my parts
I thought you are me and I am you
So I talk to myself 'til my face turns blue
Ask me if my feet touch the ground
I drift away and explore the profound
A morph to satisfaction is the trip
It's you... isn't it?...
Father tell me what you think of me
Please, tell me what you think of me
The pressure and the weight comes in with the tide
I tell you that I love you a thousand times
Someone said a silver course lands my door
Now question marks talk to me even more
I'm tired.. and I wanna come home
But all that pains me is the thought of my own
The thought of you just reeks with divinity
A spark by my heart is the symbol of the trinity
I can understand that the stakes are high
But I'd really like to know what I've done and why
I'm floating in a sea of doubt when it comes to that
It seems as though all of my thoughts are now acrobats
I am you, now that's a thought to renege
But in the thought that stops it seems to get big
I wonder why father.. why it is what it is
Because I am what I am?.. what gives?
Alphabet soup brings uncertain T's
A kiss on the cheek is more trouble for me
Is it possible that I might decompose
And reassemble with a spark and a rose
I notice that oblivion follows me around
As ode to forgetful mind is shot down
Eternity is holding a rubix cube
And everything inside it seems to be nude
I just don't get it sometimes it's weird
It barely shakes but escalates into fear
I'm so distraught that it now makes sense
The perfect pony.. but you'll only get a glimpse
Now someone tried to hit it with a stick of bamboo
I wonder wonder wonder wonder who
I grin as the era of the selfish fades
And I'm looking at the skies through a pair of dark shades
And I'm buggin I guess cause it makes me feel good
There's so many things that I misunderstood
I guess I'll never know.. it'd probably cut me like a knife
I swore I spent my life trying to be Christ-like
But I love you father so I can't lie..
I think I'll still be scared even after I die..

By P.M. Dawn

Archangels and Lucifer

Archangels and Lucifer

Jegudiel, Selaphiel, Michael, Gabriel, Raphael and Uriel : They are archangels.

Jegudiel as laudation of god from eastern orthodox culture,

Selaphiel from the second book of Esdras also from Eastern Orthodox tradition,

Michael from Bible is named as the field commander of the army of god (in the vision of Daniel, Michael has been described as the protector of Israel)

Gabriel from Gospel of Luke, also the messenger from god who in Islamic views was the mediul through whom god revealed the Quran to Mohammad. He is considered the chief of the four favored angels and the spirit of truth. Islam says that he is the creator of Holy Spirit.

Raphael from Book of Tobit, (It is God who heals). This angel is also the doctor of medicine thus echoing the healing function traditionally attributed to this angel
Uriel from Book of Enoch.

Islam named Archangels as Gabriel, Michael, Raphael and Azrael. But many have acknowledged several archangels and among them the fallen archangel Lucifer famously known as Satan was an archangel until he rebelled against God who then had Michael cast him down to Hell from heaven. Malakhi Elohim or angels of god or malakhi Adomai or angels of the lord, sons of God and the Holy ones are all considered Angelic Messengers.

Lucifer -the Morning Star tried to rise high over the clouds and begin himself on the mountain where the gods assembled, in the far north, but was cast down into the underworld.

When Allah commanded all of the angels to bow down before Adam (the first Human), Iblis, full of hubris and jealousy, refused to obey Allah's command (he could do so because, as a jinn, he had free will), seeing Adam as being inferior in creation due to his being created from clay as compared to him (created of fire).
"It is We Who created you and gave you shape; then we bade the angels prostrate to Adam, and they prostrate; not so Iblis (Lucifer); He refused to be of those who prostrate."
(Allah) said: "What prevented thee from prostrating when I commanded thee?" He said: "I am better than he: Thou didst create me from fire, and him from clay."
Qur'an 7:11–12
It was after this that the title of "Shaitan" was given, which can be roughly translated as "Mischievous" or "Devil". Shaitan then claims that if the punishment for his act of disobedience is to be delayed until the Day of Judgment, that he will divert many of Adam's own descendants from the straight path during his period of respite.Allah accepts the claims of Iblis and guarantees recompense to Iblis and his followers in the form of Hellfire. To test mankind and jinn alike, Allah allowed Iblis to roam the earth to attempt to convert others away from his path. He was sent to earth along with Adam and Eve, after eventually luring them into eating the fruit from the forbidden tree.

Joseph Campbell illustrates an unorthodox Islamic reading of Lucifer's fall from Heaven, which champions Lucifer's eclipsing love for God:
One of the most amazing images of love that I know is in Persian – a mystical Persian representation as Satan as the most loyal lover of God. You will have heard the old legend of how, when God created the angels, he commanded them to pay worship to no one but himself; but then, creating man, he commanded them to bow in reverence to this most noble of his works, and Lucifer refused – because, we are told, of his pride. However, according to this Muslim reading of his case, it was rather because he loved and adored God so deeply and intensely that he could not bring himself to bow before anything else, and because he refused to bow down to something inferior to him (since he was made of fire, and man from clay). And it was for that that he was flung into Hell, condemned to exist there forever, apart from his love.

Rebirth

"Mad hoe blocking my flow but still I’m let you know why I’m ready to hollow

Light up a green herb and slow the time just to knock my mind

Knock some questions up, yeh I got some questions and stuff

Don’t know where to begin and don’t know where should It end

It’s like when its threshold unfolds and it’s out of hold

Yeh it’s just a feeling but it’s really deep

Deeper than the thoughts that made it, some unexplainable shit

I got love for hurt and some hurtful love

Ain’t nothing different about this awful world

Same morning hustle and tiring nights,

Every day on and on some rueful first blood fights

Same wishful thinking for pleasures that keep sinking

While kids be singing and old folks keep drinking

Sick phones keep ringing and why I be always thinking?

Is it a change that is needed or a need that has changed?

Past making future or resentment still caged?

Why there is no trust in the blood that is one?

Why everybody lives for freedom that dies under a gun?

Why we say that god is one when we diversify humanity

It ain’t religion but a reason that can conquer sanity

Dying every day and wishing for rebirth

Is still a dream at least in this world

Even though the sun’s got light in the dark but under the clouds it don’t mean a thing

You can change every day but being born again and doing it different is still a dream

You can read the end of the book or read it in a flash

It don’t make any sense, how you connect two ends is still a test

It’s already blending, how you begin and how you ending

The middle of your life is your job so wait for no angels cause he ain’t sending

You hopeless fuck, this is one dream so where you be lending?

Listen to this modulated rap beat out of my mouth to ya ears that I'm sending

One block a baby just born and the very next block a man just died

It’s a circle of life; a soul once gone has just been given another try"

- R 'double' E.N 2010

A Feeling called Love

when tears come in your eyes..
and you try to stop them..!!!
time is moving....
and you've so many questions....

when ya heart is broken,
and you are still something, hoping...!!!!
fear is in your mind,
and you have few words unspoken...!!!

when all things go wrong,
and it's difficult to find its reasons...!!!!
suddenly you meet someone,
and he starts finding you a moment to be stolen...!!!

feeling of his touch makes ya warm,
now everything is more beautiful and Golden..!!
let your Love grow More and More,
and let your heartbeat fasten!!!!!

this is the feeling of true love..
which grows stronger day by day,
for someone...!!!!!!!!