9 Oct, 2010

It has to be a question, what if you can actually challenge and give the best of you....when you can provide enough to replace everything. You know one of those times when you provide, explain, take away something cause it shouldn't be there and you make it a law, and when you break the law, you finally hear about that thing you provided which was never good enough, it’s never enough. You replace something and get replaced by a word.

In another color of situation the truth can be told with a simple but yet so sober wisdom less lie. Everything in this world has a purpose; you cannot replace someone and be someone else. Everyone has a place. No matter how hard you try and how much you’ll give away, good or bad be the result, let god judge and know this, you can’t replace a position, you cannot be a husband and a friend, for those who would live up to this are fools to make themselves committed to obsession thinking that they cannot give away and get their love shared by mixed feelings. They want to have the best and all of it.

Falling in love is perpetual and heart break is mandatory, for many it’s just the rush after the thrill has gone. They call it pain, its heart reckoning but it always keeps that thing they call ‘that feeling’ keep on going on and on and on, no matter how long that takes. You know the road is ahead and that’s exactly where you’re going…….forward!

8, 9 and 10

Behind the beauty of life, there is this ugly truth and then there are lies, truth that we learn to keep naked and lies that we learn to cover and sometimes the opposite. As everyday passes we have a moment that flows to the last flashy combination of our life when these moments actually flash around you and among them there are the better ones that are most vivid. If I count mine, I would remember when I first got high, my first time I was asked out by a girl and then my first kiss which was almost perfect, first time I puked on my birthday party, when I turned 21 all alone, august 19^th or October the 20^th, the first time it rained as I can remember or matter of fact the last time it rained, when I first played guitar for someone and among them many that can’t be defined or compared.

We are born naked and I believe that whatever we do is nude. Sooner or later the very blanket that we are under becomes our coffin and life is a dusted spirit in a blink of an eye, resentment is only a reason and anger supports it or better than anger there is hate that overpowers it. You can always hear the greatest that ever lived talk about peace and its power but there are times when desperation takes over everything. There is a limit and then there are consequences. I often feel that I wanna write a book about one of my close friends and I often feel as if he is telling me everything for one reason or if I’m asking it for another. I feel his life is worth talking about but the same can be said for every story. I’m driven by reasons and not outcomes.

You let go something and something else comes to you, I tell you that I have understood in my life so far that the things that are the hardest to let go are always taken away from you, you never let them go but you are always deceived. But always think it thru before doing the worse, before making that one worst decision of your life that would indeed change it all.

I know myself enough to say that I have understood parts of me that are sane and some that are indeed insane but yes there is still a long road to go and a lot to know and if I do it all over again, I would only choose this life.

Sunday, July 18th 2010

Some say love is nature's way of playing with us so that we can create some more screaming babies who don't know about the heartache there is to come, the heartbreak they can't imagine, the pain that rips their heart out, I feel otherwise.

Some say that the Greek gods were bored, so they invented us, but they were still bored, so they invented love. Then they weren't bored any longer, so they decided to try love for themselves. And finally they invented laughter, so they could stand it. But then we invented hate.

Some say that god despises us but if he did he wouldn't have made our hearts so brave. Some say there is no god,


 
I think otherwise.

254

254 days I was institutionalized.

I had 21 years of experience and my only question, the only thing I use to ask myself as a little kid was 'what is life?', it sure sounds lame and childish but it's not how one can let down something and move on. A crazy weird child and his memories and that is what made him different with nothing good but I have never complained. I'm a curious case. Sometimes it's hard to bear a surprise when sometimes people say surprise and then they wait for my reaction while my only surprise is the word 'surprise'. The funny thing is that there is no book that teaches you about it. You can learn or you can forget.

Maybe I know deep down in my soul somewhere that love never existed but it was until now. I have finally found, learned, understood and now I believe. This is life and its how we know it, at least its how I have learned. Even god cried when heaven's rained and then he swore he would never do something like that again. Even god has a heart. We all have a heart, we just gota learn how to use it.

Thank you Dominus for this life and all my answers that you never answered but made me feel.


 

 

AB +

"today i will start blogging" is what i have been telling my self months ago, however with all that was going on, college et al & then with the final exams approaching, i never really got down to it. And now that the intellectual torture (exams) have ended, being blissfully unemployed (i use the term blissfuly bcos after a long gap i have finally got a BREAK), a tourist in my own house (& im loving it), it struck me once again. So here i am, writting my first blog. TODAY!!

On this little on going holiday that i am on, i spend most of my time doing, well, NOTHING and truth be told i dont even feel guilty about it. Other than the regular, i dont do anything extraordinary or what is expected of me (enrolling for short courses to improve my skill, for skill i believe, will improve on the job).

Now while i enjoy meeting up with friends and each time look forward to the next meeting, I have realised a very common, growing concern. And though it may not sound like 'concern' to some (assuming they consider it a view point/approach), the ability to stay or be positive is not common an ability but something for which training sessions have to be conducted at the office place or speakers delivering lengthy presentations to get the flock inot believing that POSITIVITY is a POSITIVE ATTRIBUTE which can ultimately help you achieve POSITIVE RESULTS.

"POSITIVITY" i guess is a state of mind where you analyse everything like a rational human being and after doing so, inspite of knowing the odds and evens, you choose to go with the evens. For eg. a glass half filled with water can either be looked at as half full or half empty, the choice is yours. Those who choose half full are probably more positive in their approach rather than those who choose half empty.

The benefits of being positive are not uncommon and are emphasised on a regular basis, but even then, sometimes even the most positive person may not be so positive afterall (considering that we are all human beings at the end of the day-sometimes, just sometimes that positive feeling lets us down.) But we should always bear in mind that what gets us down should be reason enough for us to rise up over it.

According to me, positivity is not being unrealistic. It is accepting what comes your way and always knowing that there is a silver lining behind every cloud, more so in the occurance of a tragedy.

Belief in oneself is what I consider to be the first step towards being a positive person, as believing in one's self is learning to love one's self with all the flaws. If you find it hard it hard to love and respect yourself, it will be harder to love and respect another. When ou believe you can - YOU CAN, simply putting it, if you believe you can win the war that's half the battle won or the placebo effect where you believe the sugar pill (made to look like medicine) will cure you, it actually does. So basically it all starts in the head, when you belive that things can happen, when your capable of seeing the good in others, when you are able to bring yourself and others to belive in the right, that's when things will go your way (never forgetting that there will always be problems enroute your destination)-is what I define "Being Positive" as.

Positivity also runs in our blood or else why would we have blood groups such as A+, B+, AB+ or O+? Yes, yes, we also have their negatives but again remember, it is all in the head - if you think so, then so shall it be !! Ans since positivity runs in my blood, I make sure to tell everyone " A, B+ (positive) ok.."